I was sad to leave the BCS NaNo family behind but also determined not to disappear from the NaNo community completely, so I sought it out in my new city.
I was happy to see activity in the forums of my new home region and found them in person today at a quaint little game cafe. He was not there, but it seems like the official “leader” is a real douche bagel, but the people who were there and unofficial leaders of my region were nice, and I like them all very much. Luckily, I’ve insured this year’s sticker.
I feel very behind in my life though because most members of the group have kids; more than one who are not just babies, but can talk and walk, and in their teens. I wouldn’t think these women were much older than I am just by looking at them, and I still don’t know how old they are, but that doesn’t matter. The fact that they’re moms makes me feel like a spinster that’s joined a married moms’ book club.
I actually admire these women to be able to keep up with NaNo while still taking care of their kids while they work. I say I feel behind, not because of the kids thing, but because these people know their own life, and know what they want to do with it, career wise, and it’s not just writing for them. They also know the genres they’re writing in. I still have no idea what to call my writing. How do you know if it’s young adult or just a regular old fiction? I have no idea. I just write.
This isn’t a serious life crisis or anything; it’s just got me thinking. And I realize how young I am to be where I’m at. When I was in college, I knew people who were the age I am now and still working on the undergrad phase and still trying to figure it out. I know how lucky I am to know as much as I do about myself at this age. I realize I’m young. “You got your whole life ahead of ya. You’re young! You got time!” FALSE! I am watching a television show, as I always am, and a character did not make it to his 30th birthday. As I said, not a serious crisis; the character was deep into a conspiracy, so he was a target. I am anonymous and am oblivious to all that is around me, so surely I am no one’s target, but I could die any where. I could have too much coffee from my new job’s free coffee machine and die of a heart attack!
The real problem is that I know exactly what I want to do with my life, but I do not have the means nor resources to achieve everything I want to achieve. I need a job, my career if you will, that will make me enough to invest in a home for canines and me. It needs to be in a location where euthanasia is still practiced because my goal is to take dogs in from death row. Of course, I hope this no-kill movement will make it’s way everywhere, but I would like to lessen the amount of dogs that suffer while we wait. I also need a plan, so I know nothing can be done if I myself do not do it.
The career thing is a big one though, and it sounds like I have chosen the wrong line of work in that everything in my field of news production seems to be moving toward automation. And I’m not going to make a whole lot of money in it anytime soon because the money making people in the business have 10+ years of experience, and I am merely working on year four. If you don’t look at the money and pretend I have no other goals, then it’s a fine career. I honestly love my job very much.
I also would like to write a book, but I’ve got to have the attention span to stick to one project and to be able to sit still long enough to write it. On the bright side, this new job of mine is much like the old one in that I am allowed to write in my down time.
I feel I am falling behind in life because I would like much of my goals accomplished now. My impatience and my short attention span are futile flaws.